Your world feels like it has just imploded around you. There is nothing that hurts quite like the infidelity of a partner. The pain rips through your chest leaving an almost physical impression – and most definitely an emotional one.
Relationship experts have found that an enhanced sense of connection is the biggest deterrent to cheating. Infidelity occurs for a wide variety of reasons. While none of them vindicate the cheating, they can provide advance warnings in the breakdown of a relationship. By enriching your partner and cultivating your relationship, you begin to establish healthy barricades that can prevent the chance of future cheating.
How to heal
Trust is the foundation of any relationship and in the wake of a partner’s painful deceit, it can feel like that trust is irrevocably broken. For a relationship to begin the healing process, the groundwork of trust must be reestablished. Honesty and reflection must take place for both people for this to occur. Relationship experts far and wide have weighed in and if both people feel like the relationship is worth fighting for, a renewed awareness for truthfulness and openness must be paramount. Being able to candidly discuss the relationship and dissect the areas of breakdown can help lead to a more fruitful, authentic partnership. Reestablishing trustworthiness will begin the healing process.
How to forgive and move forward
Professionals have united together under the premise that for the relationship to be salvageable, both parties must acknowledge their contributions to the problems. This can be equally difficult for the person who was cheated on, but vital to establish the base for a successful relationship. This is not a place for blame, finger-pointing or anger. This is where the relationship can begin to heal, and it is vital for both parties to be active participants. These exercises in no way absolve the cheating behavior, but specialists agree that forgiveness begins with understanding one another’s frustrations and can help enhance communication. Exploring the motives behind the cheating is painful but can help bridge the gaps that lead to the initial infidelity. Formulate empowered responses to one another that increase your bond and avoid language and anger that furthers the alienation.
Don’t avoid your emotions
If you were cheated on, chances are that you will feel a wide variety of complex emotions. Betrayal, rage, despair, confusion, and hopelessness are all normal feelings. It is healthy to allow yourself this range of emotions – but important not to get stuck there. Be open and honest with your partner about how the cheating made you feel. If you were the cheater, allow your partner to express themselves without judgment. Be an active listener and allow one another to hurt – doing it together for a heightened bond between you. Make each other feel safe and supported. Allow your partner to feel hurt and openly discuss the foundation and cause of those feelings. Burying emotions can lead to bitterness and the harboring of feelings that foster a break-up instead of promoting healing and renewal to the relationship.
There is hope
If honesty and forthrightness remain at the forefront of your efforts, your relationship can emerge from the trauma of cheating even stronger than it was before. While there is no modulating cheating in a relationship, there is hope. Cultivating and nourishing a relationship is vital to its overall health. While cheating signifies a deeper issue within the relationship itself, relationship experts have found the rebuilding process can lead to a more fulfilled connection if forgiveness, resolution, acknowledgment, and repentance are involved in the healing process.