Going through the breakup of a relationship can be incredibly difficult. Emotions are raw and feeling such as confusion, guilt, disillusionment, abandonment and sadness can show up in waves that seem to ebb and flow without concern to the day or time. Simple experiences can take on a new shape as painful memories seemingly rush to the forefront of your mind. Tastes and smells can be equally difficult as they trudge up reminders of a former relationship. There is hope in finding new and innovative adventures and an opportunity to experience life, albeit differently, with renewed passion. To give you an idea on how to do it right, 4 women break it down and illustrate experiences they refused to let a breakup breakdown.
1. Chicken and Dumplings
“There is nothing I like more than a heaping, hot bowel of chicken and dumplings. When my ex-boyfriend realized how much I enjoyed this southern comfort food, he took it upon himself to teach me how to make it from scratch. When he broke-up with me, the smell of chicken and fresh dumplings made my stomach sink. How could I ever enjoy my favorite dish when all it did was conjure memories of his face? After some time, I was faced with a rotisserie chicken, dough and fresh veggies – all staring at me expectantly from my cutting board. What I realized in that moment was that the memories I had creating the dish for myself brought me joy. I no longer linked my favorite food to the negative memories of him – instead, I found joy in creativity and culinary prowess in which I created my own delicious foods. He couldn’t take that away from me. – Anna R., 28
2. Walking on the Beach
“Living in Florida provided ample time to walk along the beach with my girlfriend. We enjoyed the sand between our toes, watching the gulls play in the waves and letting the sun warm our faces. When she dumped me, I didn’t think I could ever walk along the shores without feeling a sense of loss and missing her. One afternoon I found myself sitting on the sand looking out into the water. In that moment I found so much beauty in my surroundings, it seemed silly to allow an ex so much control over my environment. The beach is mine and nothing would ever change that. – Polly T., 23
3. A New York Yankee’s T-Shirt
My boyfriend was a huge baseball fan and bought me a t-shirt for his favorite team – the New York Yankees. When we broke up I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. Two years later, I ended up moving to New York. I found the shirt, threw it on and attended a game with some friends, blending in with the rowdy fans. The shirt may have been a gift from someone I no longer have a relationship with, but it allowed me to create new memories!” – Theresa L., 29
4. Comic Books
My ex was a huge comic book geek. I followed along during all his comic escapades and collected quite a compendium of items myself. When we broke up, instead of tossing them all in the trash, I started donating them to local schools and libraries. I volunteered to read and go on drives to drum up interest in reading for young children. He may have broken my heart, but his comic obsession allowed me to meet the needs of so many people and fulfill a sense of worth in myself! – Quinn W., 19
